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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69852) - you deserved it (3359)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74478) - you deserved it (4051)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15936) - you deserved it (68880)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61086) - you deserved it (12273)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

#4632889
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (69318)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (15293)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (12231)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46843) - you deserved it (16747)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

#4622066
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12163) - you deserved it (94478)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77712) - you deserved it (6234)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53452) - you deserved it (18661)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52315) - you deserved it (3720)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)



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