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Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127403) - you deserved it (6465)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124663) - you deserved it (6930)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML

#922323
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47386) - you deserved it (2987)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by suckmeoff (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was waiting in the lobby of a modeling agency for my interview to be a potential model and I was next in line. They called "NEXT!" and I walked in with a smile on my face. They stared at my face for a moment and then started yelling "NEXT". FML

#922187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52145) - you deserved it (9960)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by taptheturtle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18335) - you deserved it (88078)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML

#920023
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (42918)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waitressing when a man sat at my table with soda from somewhere else. Drinks are half the profit for restaurants. There is a strict policy that you have to charge for carry-in drinks. I told him this, he yelled at me so I told him I was doing my job. I got fired, for doing my job. FML

#919525
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you deserved it (3693)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:07pm - work - by waitress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (4952)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72856) - you deserved it (18904)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46372) - you deserved it (2988)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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