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Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64331) - you deserved it (6824)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

#963368
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53249) - you deserved it (5855)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by wellgreat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

#963044
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43325) - you deserved it (28800)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (12271)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
677 comments

I agree, your life sucks (686135) - you deserved it (55352)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (63257)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59913) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98634) - you deserved it (23092)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML

#948690
98 comments

Today, I went to the gym that I just became a member of, making an extra effort to look good because I've heard there are hot guys there. The lady at the front desk said they need to take my picture, then took a second look and said, "Don't worry hun, we'll take it when you're more prepared." FML

#948572
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48853) - you deserved it (5216)

On 04/13/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by ididlookgood (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101217) - you deserved it (8743)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML

#945659
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13061) - you deserved it (75511)

On 04/13/2009 at 6:46am - intimacy - by jackass (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

#942012
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51952) - you deserved it (3256)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by fatface (woman) - United States (Texas)



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