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Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

#1316192
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11037) - you deserved it (77059)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was fired from my job of 5 years. I was let go because I couldn't take the company to 'the next level'. My now ex-boss asked me if I could process my severance check because he didn't know how. I had to write myself my last paycheck. FML

#1315849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (2315)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:31am - work - by feistychick (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was shopping in an upscale store. As I was changing, I heard one of the snobby saleswomen say to mine "You shouldn't bother. She isn't going to buy anything." Determined to "show her", I purchased everything I'd tried on. It came to around $500. My credit card was declined. FML

#1315447
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14042) - you deserved it (73084)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

#1315045
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (14181)

On 04/25/2009 at 7:50am - money - by Nicked (woman) - Israel

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

#1311543
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42728) - you deserved it (15127)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckatlifeeexo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58596) - you deserved it (4171)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60465) - you deserved it (8261)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

#1296374
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60491) - you deserved it (3238)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73420) - you deserved it (8692)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

#1287200
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (17634)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by papergirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (84205)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

#1284518
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56038) - you deserved it (4983)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:41am - work - by jcstpierre (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

#1283810
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63202) - you deserved it (3431)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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