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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

#680104
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70845) - you deserved it (4977)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

#677101
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60620) - you deserved it (8258)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

#676610
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54591) - you deserved it (5697)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend and when his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and i thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away I hear her say "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better". FML

#675536
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71376) - you deserved it (3720)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:40am - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML

#673526
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50986) - you deserved it (5908)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by oldskoolgrl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (7677)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

#672131
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51719) - you deserved it (23486)

On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (15876)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

#669476
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50498) - you deserved it (6765)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29465) - you deserved it (79740)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML

#664125
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63689) - you deserved it (5607)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML

#662382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83080) - you deserved it (6556)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by linren (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

#661322
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60382) - you deserved it (28523)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New York)



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