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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

#1961267
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (12411)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

#1961143
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (7038)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by artclasstrauma (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a job interview at a local business with the owner who was man, and the manager who was a woman. I thought I did pretty well because I heard the manager whisper so, as I was walking out. Then I heard the owner whisper "no fat chicks." FML

#1958441
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (6238)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

#1957244
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52486) - you deserved it (8846)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

#1956453
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (9315)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (42913)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

#1953704
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10317) - you deserved it (48422)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by sweet92 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57284) - you deserved it (3417)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30694) - you deserved it (42897)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

#1933691
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (55164)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML

#1933415
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41717) - you deserved it (14832)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by shrimp41 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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