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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54390) - you deserved it (2616)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my cousin's communion. We came late and walked to the front of the church where my family was. Everyone stared and laughed but I ignored it. After the service was done my mom came up to me and pulled a long piece of toilet paper out of my skirt. FML

#1358381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (11236)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by skjjj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49811) - you deserved it (4265)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59947) - you deserved it (8464)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (40416)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76067) - you deserved it (4072)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML

#1348524
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56394) - you deserved it (7436)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:47am - misc - by TheRawrza (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76562) - you deserved it (5037)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

#1345231
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92194) - you deserved it (4734)

On 04/26/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by hopeless1 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I worked a car wash as a fundraiser. Being nice I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

#1345183
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (9891)

On 04/26/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (2561)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

#1341827
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45346) - you deserved it (7320)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by margretlle (woman) - United States (Florida)



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