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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (7711)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

#5265552
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (4659)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:17am - work - by conley19 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46888) - you deserved it (4604)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

#5254705
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52988) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:30pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

#5252431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45285) - you deserved it (2876)

On 09/14/2009 at 3:28pm - love - by thisistypical (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

#5252040
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59454) - you deserved it (19099)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by diplomaless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

#5249359
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54978) - you deserved it (5447)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27942) - you deserved it (5099)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

#5244786
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31750) - you deserved it (26954)

On 09/14/2009 at 1:07am - animals - by Maggie123 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

#5243729
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (20373)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - work - by _philliesfan (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was looking in my laundry basket for a clean tank top to wear. As I felt around, I realized that most of my clothes were still wet after two days. After asking my mom what was wrong with the dryer, I found out that for two days my cat had been using my laundry basket as a litter box. FML

#5243722
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (5150)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - animals - by catpeecathy (woman) - United States (Washington)



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