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Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML

#2257216
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63135) - you deserved it (4356)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

#2255530
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (11432)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kiki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74209) - you deserved it (7315)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

#2248680
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47046) - you deserved it (24031)

On 05/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by anonymouss (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

#2247907
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50257) - you deserved it (4118)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73721) - you deserved it (4120)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51183) - you deserved it (18260)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16291) - you deserved it (57501)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML

#2232813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (58210)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:46am - misc - by APRRECIATION (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54507) - you deserved it (42521)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11654) - you deserved it (54934)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97725) - you deserved it (23451)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (43123)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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