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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56674) - you deserved it (26962)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

#1618603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (71687)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by kandi (woman) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

#1616689
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13597) - you deserved it (54431)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

#1615706
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (57005)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

#1614849
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49995) - you deserved it (3909)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:40am - health - by lsta (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on Facebook looking at pictures of my boyfriend, who was in his friend's wedding this past weekend. He said that none of the girlfriends could come because it would cost too much for the couple. I spent the weekend alone, and all his friend's girlfriends are in the pictures. FML

#1614370
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56506) - you deserved it (4383)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:25am - love - by pissed (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML

#1611254
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (42593)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by nolove (woman) - Canada

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

#1607608
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (51501)

On 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by Gjkashldf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

#1602310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62177) - you deserved it (7085)

On 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm - health - by Cherub (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (127480)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

#1598244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52147) - you deserved it (4575)

On 05/03/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by xoxo96 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (82056)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

#1591597
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56373) - you deserved it (6429)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by Deirbhile (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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