Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

by Twiddle / 12/07/2009 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2009 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

by proudparent / 12/07/2009 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

by HassledAirfarer / 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

by Wrongdoor / 12/06/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see for two hours. FML

by lol / 12/06/2009 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Health

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

by wormsick / 12/06/2009 at 4:16am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

by virginmary / 12/06/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

by Delicious / 12/06/2009 at 2:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

by barfyshirt / 12/06/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

by musiclover / 12/06/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous