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Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49453) - you deserved it (4446)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

#880602
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (33742)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by LonnyLonnikins (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40129) - you deserved it (33934)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

#879830
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73079) - you deserved it (2923)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by fedlife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61953) - you deserved it (8037)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58759) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

#877669
110 comments

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

#877150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (25675)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (57643)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13672) - you deserved it (71390)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said "well I was going to ask you, but they said only to 'ask all of your BEAUTIFUL mommies." FML

#873134
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66211) - you deserved it (3458)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:08pm - kids - by livay315 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML

#867066
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60129) - you deserved it (8926)

On 04/08/2009 at 3:19am - love - by DL06 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boss informed me that it is now my responsibility to wash the dishes, since my co-workers are consistently too lazy to clean up after themselves. I have a bachelor's degree. Which I earned at the same university I now work at. FML

#866352
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46846) - you deserved it (5335)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:08am - work - by aeterne (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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