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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

#1438433
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49017) - you deserved it (14295)

On 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

#1435324
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46985) - you deserved it (2755)

On 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59732) - you deserved it (4981)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (51263)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

#1427815
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38907) - you deserved it (7362)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

#1418497
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12799) - you deserved it (59251)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by owned (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (204305) - you deserved it (10582)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML

#1413224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53854) - you deserved it (4908)

On 04/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

#1408593
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14501) - you deserved it (52666)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Radgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

#1401975
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63962) - you deserved it (5500)

On 04/27/2009 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by tara22 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

#1400081
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (69488)

On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML

#1399688
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57183) - you deserved it (5832)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm - animals - by Tragic (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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