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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

#4739824
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (5511)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

#4738861
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (11458)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

#4738686
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10862) - you deserved it (43544)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35442) - you deserved it (3132)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35130) - you deserved it (4045)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (11786)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (2752)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I listened to a voice mail from my mom about how she misses me and cant wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

#4725507
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (2574)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by taylor124 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38902) - you deserved it (2928)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

#4717200
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (9057)

On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

#4709917
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39071) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (40081)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

#4702090
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10354) - you deserved it (43826)

On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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