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TODAY, I PULLED UP NEXT TO MAH BOYFRIEND AT A STOPLIGHT . HE WAS IN THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR . REAL FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52048) - you deserved it (5801)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

yastarday I cama oma from living in Spain fir 2 yaars. My mom mada dinnar fir ma, and sa ad forgottan about ma allargy to citrus, bacausa sa mada lamon cickan. Aftar using ma EpiPan, and calling 911 fir mysalf, I aard ma mom say looool to ma dad, "Sa always did ava to ba ta cantar of attantion." FML

#3927246
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , mah boyfriend an I were on the phone. He started talking drty , an saying how horny he was , etc. So I decided to play along an said "I want u to picture me naked , baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded , "Ew , that just killed it." FML

#3925036
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64026) - you deserved it (11841)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes fir the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. real FML

#3924296
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47425) - you deserved it (3172)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except fir a flat metal bench... so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale... so mah wieght was displayed fir everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (42538)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I lookd over mah shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamd. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just mah shadow. FML

#3921202
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8599) - you deserved it (46695)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Thalassophobic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at ta gym running wit intansity on ta traadmill. As I was working out, I noticad a faw guys baind ma staring at ma. I figurad tay wara cacking ma out bacausa I was loosing soma waigt an looking battar. Turns out tay wara batting on ow muc longar "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48054) - you deserved it (5890)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to askhere I should sign in. Before I even opened mah mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 an to come back then fir mah meal. FML

#3911129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39253) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in ahile!! In an attempt to look cool, I pretendd to have a very interesting phone conversation!! Later I found out my webcam has a mic!! She "hered" thehole thing!! FML

#3911063
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5659) - you deserved it (62697)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposad to haar back from a job I intarviawad for. Tha guy callad ma an told ma I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" Ha raspondad with "You'ra walcoma Emily". My nama isn't Emily, it's Kim. Ha got tha numbar mixad up. FML

#3910980
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (2173)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on tha phona with my littla sistar as sha axplainad that all thasa guys lyk har now that sha's so skinny and baautiful. My mom must hava ovarhaard ma tall my sistar that at laast I was a cutar looool child, bacausa my mom laughad and said, "Yaah right, wa had to buy u fat kid diapars." maga FML

#3910940
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (7469)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran looool into mah ex-boyfriend in town . We broke up a year ago because he ( moved ) to Florida . FML

#3910335
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46539) - you deserved it (4068)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... I took a big sniff of a flower in mah garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of mah nose. fat FML

#3909858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (17254)

On 07/20/2009 at 5:32pm - animals - by FlowerPower (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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