Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

#3093736
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52752) - you deserved it (14819)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9491) - you deserved it (62004)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

#3091198
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76557) - you deserved it (4634)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by picaru (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

#3089215
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18674) - you deserved it (30952)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by carpetoops (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

#3088891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (15593)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

#3085922
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52767) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

#3084574
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45617) - you deserved it (3515)

On 06/21/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was thinking about how people say if you're gradually introduced to a smell or you're forced to deal with enough, you'll stop noticing it. And how untrue that is. Especially when your roommates sneak a dead rabbit under your bed. FML

#3082688
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37864) - you deserved it (2425)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

#3078686
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49405) - you deserved it (3637)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38945) - you deserved it (10814)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60300) - you deserved it (25926)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

#3069327
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54727) - you deserved it (2065)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)



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