Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (1794)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

#21433513
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24369) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by CaptainFluffyPaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

#21433237
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (1533)

On 06/28/2015 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (1850)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (2316)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2048)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23544) - you deserved it (2155)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (6405)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

#21432440
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (1507)

On 06/26/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (7557)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

#21432043
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (1721)

On 06/25/2015 at 11:06pm - health - by postop (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I keep getting calls from companies that I applied to for interviews. The thing is, I moved 1,000 miles away a week ago because I couldn't find a job. FML

#21431867
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25433) - you deserved it (2934)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:59pm - work - by missmolliss (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML

#21431843
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (2083)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: