Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML

by LittleRed79 / 11/03/2016 at 12:49am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML

by Farterella / 11/02/2016 at 4:30pm / Geek

Today, my group is so lazy and unwilling to do work for our debate project that my competition is offering to help me out. FML

by AnAngryyGiraffe / 11/02/2016 at 3:56pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a 10-hour shift that started at 5 a.m. We can't leave until relief comes and we don't get paid for overtime if our relief is late. The good news is my relief came early. The bad news is he went on a smoke break and never came back. They want me to stay until we close and I'm the only cashier. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2016 at 10:47am / Work

Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this joke a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML

by Sorry Not Sorry / 11/01/2016 at 10:01am / Work

Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML

by fukinnature / 11/01/2016 at 3:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

by kookoocatlady / 11/01/2016 at 12:31am / Animals

Today, at work, a guy tried to buy me for a dollar. I've only been there a week and it's the third time it's happened. FML

by meh / 10/31/2016 at 11:43am / Work

Today, it's Halloween and my boss changed his mind at the last minute, telling us we're no longer allowed to carve pumpkins in our lunch hour because, "It would be too distracting". What are we supposed to do with 12 pumpkins now? FML

by nohalloweenforus / 10/31/2016 at 11:22am / Work

Today, my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven't brought a guy home in over 7 years. Nope. I'm just a crazy cat lady, minus the cats. FML

by Crazy Cat-less Lady / 10/31/2016 at 12:38am / Love

Today, I should probably throw out my old, torn dress as my boob popped out to say hello to a passing car. FML

by Boobs McGee / 10/30/2016 at 10:48pm / Transportation

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for saving them money. FML

by marenthehollow / 10/30/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

by Sarah_Mow / 10/27/2016 at 10:31pm / Miscellaneous