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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33679) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35276) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36137) - you deserved it (2712)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (4770)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML

Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML

#21255044
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43480) - you deserved it (3389)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

#21255032
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34445) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

#21254692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (2868)

On 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm - work - by notyourfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

#21254078
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (2133)

On 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by soontobehobo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

#21253844
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/07/2014 at 5:05pm - work - by teacher (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML

#21253432
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/07/2014 at 12:52am - health - by SymmetricalPizzaFace (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38762) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

#21253199
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33438) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/06/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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