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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see wat she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8162) - you deserved it (80053)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today.. . mah 9 year old niece askd me if I was a virgin . I told her.. . "Yes.. . I'm saving myself until marriage" . She replid.. . "That's a load of bullshit.. . you just can't get a guy!" Sadly.. . she's right . FML

#4025974
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48330) - you deserved it (8190)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:55am - kids - by Kimberly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down tha strip with a friand whan wa saw a homalass man with no arm. I falt bad, so I gava him soma cash an I lookad into his poor littla ayas whan ha puttad out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I huggad him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," ha kissad my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (49333)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today , my boyfriend came ome from being deployed fir te past 3 monts. As soon as e gets out of te car , e walks rigt past me an goes to ug is dog. FML

#4020380
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43966) - you deserved it (7876)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:25am - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Kansas)

TODAY I SPENT MY DATE NIGHT BABYSITTING . AFTER WAITING THREE HOURS LATER THAN I WAS SUPPOSD, THE MOTHER FINALLY GETS HOME AT 11, TOO LATE FIR ME TO GET OUT AND HAVE ANY FUN . ALREADY ANNOYD, I TAKE THE MONEY AS SHE SAYS, "I HOPE THIS IS ENOUGH, I GOT HUNGRY AND SPENT SOME OF YOUR MONEY." FML

#4020289
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (2792)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - work - by hugs511 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I hered a ( clunk ) noise followed by an ( Oops. ) My dentist had cut mah tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML

#4020266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50063) - you deserved it (2576)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - health - by Toothy. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today mah long-distance boyfriend was at mah house 4 a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together so he didn't know me well and now he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. mega FML

#4017197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38054) - you deserved it (8928)

On 07/24/2009 at 10:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, ma auto-repairman told me ma eavy mass of keys was bad 4 te ignition switc and suggested I separate ma ouse and car keys. I began to carry ma car keys and lock te ouse keys in ma glovebox. My car was stolen. I now ave car keys but no car and a ouse wit no ouse key. FML

#4014904
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34159) - you deserved it (13770)

On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah boyfriend told mah roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I cummed home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (3497)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, While Mah Boyfriend And I Were Having Sex, He Suddenly Stopped And Walked To The Kitchen. He Decided To Bake Chocolate Chip Cookies In The Midst Of Our Intimacy. However, He Told Me We Could Still Continue While The Oven Preheated. FML

#4010717
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (6735)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

yesterday I was at the mall with my friendhen I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another grl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissd off. So I stormd into the store and slappd him. He lookd up at me with an angry and confusd expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

#4007461
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (82979)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I was at worken my moter called . Se gave me great news tat se ad finally cleaned out my room and all tose "old and useless" books tat I ad in tere . Tose "useless" books tat se ad just trased were all antiques and wort about $500 eac . Tere were 27 books in tere . FML

#4007419
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52880) - you deserved it (4697)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:05pm - money - by Cougar (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , I turnad 18. I thought it was bad anough that I had to pick up my own ica craam caka from tha stora , but thanhan I got homa , my family discovarad no mora room in tha fraazar. Thay dacidad to aat it so it wouldn't malt. Without ma. FML



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