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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (5029)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

#4767628
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41567) - you deserved it (2122)

On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

#4764898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (1954)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by sunflowercake (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

#4764613
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7760) - you deserved it (34961)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

#4763685
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (3329)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

#4760219
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (12109)

On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back and hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML

#4757716
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (38958)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:08pm - misc - by Susan (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

#4756705
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

#4750882
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (1905)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (7244)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

#4739824
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

#4738861
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31708) - you deserved it (11292)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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