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Today, I was riding on my bike when a guy on the street shouted, "I LOVE YOU!" at me. I recently told my boyfriend I loved him, and his response was, "I don't love you but I won't treat you any differently." Perverts on the street love me, but my boyfriend doesn't. FML

#2555277
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48248) - you deserved it (4888)

On 06/03/2009 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

#2551130
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (8987)

On 06/02/2009 at 10:08pm - kids - by babybreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

#2543138
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12072) - you deserved it (41914)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62328) - you deserved it (15795)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61257) - you deserved it (5564)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82063) - you deserved it (217669)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#2529769
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (22125)

On 06/02/2009 at 11:33am - animals - by dumb (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

#2526710
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41037) - you deserved it (4749)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45676) - you deserved it (20883)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (21773)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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