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Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

#2853235
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47882) - you deserved it (5947)

On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML

#2848917
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (5099)

On 06/13/2009 at 1:16am - love - by iamrose (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML

#2846826
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10595) - you deserved it (69911)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61773) - you deserved it (4194)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML

#2833526
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61963) - you deserved it (4753)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:04pm - love - by adderallgirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138994) - you deserved it (9965)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61389) - you deserved it (11963)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

#2826530
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46946) - you deserved it (7529)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:46am - love - by embarrassment (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML

#2822443
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (94871)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by studentdriver828 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68924) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52245) - you deserved it (6203)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64776) - you deserved it (2979)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2819083
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57729) - you deserved it (3137)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:06am - health - by angela (woman) - United States (California)



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