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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married". FML

#3447565
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54198) - you deserved it (4416)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:24am - love - by hannaholic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13365) - you deserved it (49814)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14002) - you deserved it (98490)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

#3440456
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (6902)

On 07/02/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by Heethersays (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

#3437520
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66806) - you deserved it (7927)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

#3435497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34447) - you deserved it (6064)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Damnsoup (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

#3430173
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (8301)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:37pm - money - by kbrider (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (48065)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48295) - you deserved it (3322)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

#3423301
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55113) - you deserved it (4423)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:31am - love - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (14937)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

#3418538
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74765) - you deserved it (4212)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

#3415311
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (20029)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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