Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

by rtrim29 / 12/26/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

by OhGodKillMeNow / 12/26/2009 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Holidays

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

by mothapuka / 12/26/2009 at 4:10am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

by boyfriendisatoss / 12/26/2009 at 2:22am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

by Foam / 12/26/2009 at 1:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I have an Urinary Tract Infection, causing me to have to use the bathroom about every ten minutes. I'm also about to leave on a 15 hour car trip with my entire family. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

by weeble_wobbles09 / 12/25/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

by RoxahTheGreat / 12/25/2009 at 8:50pm / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put $1000 on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The receipt with the 14-digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

by kraziikayce / 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (North Dakota) / Money