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Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

#2298945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (44964)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

#2295349
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14121) - you deserved it (54886)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

#2291155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15373) - you deserved it (39298)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

#2282625
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56099) - you deserved it (8783)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by anythingjean (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
721 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248815) - you deserved it (111442)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML

#2275162
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47204) - you deserved it (15303)

On 05/25/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by alsayslegit (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (8087)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

#2267946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78898) - you deserved it (4353)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

#2264507
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (51563)

On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

#2262925
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML

#2257216
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61491) - you deserved it (4202)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

#2255530
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (10719)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kiki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70881) - you deserved it (7017)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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