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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (2284)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML

#6194292
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (4545)

On 11/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by batgirlrules881 (woman) - United States

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (5040)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40438) - you deserved it (16580)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (9421)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35165) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML

#6191568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (6479)

On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm a 19 year old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on facebook chat. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML

#6186219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29342) - you deserved it (6241)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

#6185780
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7989) - you deserved it (43506)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (10462)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML

#6184737
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33787) - you deserved it (2462)

On 11/06/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by imsad (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. So we were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say "I Love You". So I told him to "say it already". Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

#6183343
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34328) - you deserved it (5333)

On 11/06/2009 at 3:36pm - love - by Her (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML

#6180723
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (2495)

On 11/06/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by kernelkat (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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