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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

#3579421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47829) - you deserved it (3098)

On 07/08/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

#3578218
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7358) - you deserved it (58004)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Nancy (woman) -

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (42502)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

#3575019
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50871) - you deserved it (8373)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by stupiddddddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML

#3574946
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (9484)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

#3574119
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68471) - you deserved it (3955)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (3364)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

#3570179
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83744) - you deserved it (7636)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Applelover012 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124555) - you deserved it (4584)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

#3560349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (2577)

On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

#3555384
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (62119)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (55663)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (57510)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



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