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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (2912)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46955) - you deserved it (9910)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42119) - you deserved it (17855)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML

#3021035
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (4165)

On 06/19/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by insomniac (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

#3017474
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (6074)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (7288)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

#2999612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48417) - you deserved it (4890)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (23445)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bank to make a withdrawal in order to celebrate my last day here in Italy with my friends. Apparently I'm overdrawn by 187 dollars so I'm eating nothing but leftover stale crackers to survive until I get free plane food on my way back home. FML

#2993926
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (42944)

On 06/18/2009 at 12:11pm - money - by JP (woman) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85078) - you deserved it (4485)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

#2991676
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6059) - you deserved it (54304)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by nerd (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13050) - you deserved it (55753)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (41010)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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