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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38433) - you deserved it (7133)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

#5128591
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you deserved it (43261)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

#5126922
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (77568)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50514) - you deserved it (3730)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

#5123353
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (18971)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

#5122980
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (4274)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by h0308 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

#5121769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (4808)

On 09/08/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Chaznuts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

#5119886
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (13480)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57508) - you deserved it (2388)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

#5110290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51634) - you deserved it (3443)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54957) - you deserved it (2946)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

#5108353
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (44607)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents denied me saying that it would cost too much money. I come home today to see my parents had bought a huge plasma screen TV for $800. We already have 3 tv's. FML

#5106041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42752) - you deserved it (3894)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm - money - by AH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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