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Man or woman?

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

#3824870
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57200) - you deserved it (6020)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Stranded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from a local company looking to have a website made. I looked over their request and provided them with a reasonable offer. I got an email back stating that they would like to pay me with liquor instead of money. FML

#3822475
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34633) - you deserved it (3778)

On 07/17/2009 at 2:05am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

#3821769
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (8938)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

#3821134
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7744) - you deserved it (82232)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51513) - you deserved it (4067)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML

#3818838
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (5573)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:02am - animals - by orangethonglover (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (8976)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

#3812177
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14107) - you deserved it (65187)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML

#3811943
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49311) - you deserved it (2882)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

#3806644
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60532) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I quit my job because my company wouldn't give me the raise I've been asking for for 2 years. I just saw the ad on Craigslist for my replacement position. The starting salary is above what I was asking for. FML

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

#3799208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you deserved it (54227)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore



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