Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41642) - you deserved it (19512)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41808) - you deserved it (3555)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42487) - you deserved it (21172)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a call from an ad agency offering me a job. I was so excited, because I've been looking for work for a few months now and really wanted to work for them. An hour later, they called apologizing, because they'd made a mistake and offered the job to the wrong person. FML

#2523600
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (1872)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:05am - work - by smidge (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51065) - you deserved it (29034)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31735) - you deserved it (49739)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML

#2503309
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11602) - you deserved it (55670)

On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54167) - you deserved it (2650)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67875) - you deserved it (3884)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working as a waitress at this pub. It was dead. After 4 hours I had only made 5$ in tips. A friendly couple came in and complimented EVERYTHING down to the freshness of the lemons in their tea. The bill came to $50. They left me a $5 gift card to starbucks. I don't drink coffee. FML

#2501090
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (6587)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Kitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17382) - you deserved it (47283)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16501) - you deserved it (43976)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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