Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

by dracer / 02/03/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

by bluebride / 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

by lonestar / 02/03/2010 at 8:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

by notaprossie / 02/03/2010 at 3:42am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

by rainey / 02/03/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

by hotandbothered / 02/03/2010 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

by Brittany / 02/03/2010 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

by nonameLiz / 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

by fuckmylife / 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

by taxed / 02/02/2010 at 8:00am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

by engagedmaybe / 02/02/2010 at 1:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

by overexcited / 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm / United States (California) / Health