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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17528) - you deserved it (42385)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

#3921202
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (46551)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Thalassophobic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47827) - you deserved it (5877)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

#3911129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (4205)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

#3911063
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (62505)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML

#3910980
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42676) - you deserved it (2083)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

#3910940
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (7272)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

#3910335
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (4058)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

#3909858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (16658)

On 07/20/2009 at 5:32pm - animals - by FlowerPower (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

#3907270
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (5571)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (62904)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

#3904577
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47025) - you deserved it (4242)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States



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