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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53524) - you deserved it (14105)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (54927)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you deserved it (8415)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

#4914313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51015) - you deserved it (3407)

On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46279) - you deserved it (5558)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

#4908594
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50741) - you deserved it (4684)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:56pm - love - by legallyblondemad (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

#4907075
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53321) - you deserved it (4991)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45914) - you deserved it (3459)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, it was my father's wedding. He never really cared for me, and his fiancée is my age, but I thought it would mean a lot to him if I went. I was supposed to wait for his call the day before, so he would give me directions and tell me when it starts. He never called. FML

#4899875
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47641) - you deserved it (2945)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by kkiv (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42436) - you deserved it (9353)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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