Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today , I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée an was only interested in sleeping with me. FML

Today mah parents decided I was old enough to know that mah mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares . She's a screamer . FML

#4960471
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34885) - you deserved it (2504)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today... I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox an dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. mega FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86060) - you deserved it (5141)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus an I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in an saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (9434)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

2day I was at my only sister's wedding!! She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her!! She said , "She is my favorite sister who has always been there 4 me." Being her only sister , I got up to hug her!! Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister!! Not me!! FML

#4952830
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (3424)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by ohsugarxo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , my friend got a babysitter for the kids an told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow , so I thought this would be the best surprise brthday party ever. It WAS a surprise brthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (3176)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was urrying 4 te bus ome from work. It was raining and I ad my umbrella up. As I urried by two women, I felt my umbrella it one of tem on te ead. I turned to apologise and saw er standing wit er ands on er newly bald ead. My umbrella ad lifted er wig off er ead. FML

#4950874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (4306)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

YESTERDAY, I STOOD FIR ALF AN OUR IN TE RAIN WAITING FIR BUS. AS I STARTED TO GO INSIDE, BUS TURNED AROUND TE CORNER AN SPLASED WATER ALL OVER ME. TE BUS DRIVER WOULDN'T LET ME ON TE BUS BECAUSE I WAS SOAKING WET AN I WOULD "MESS UP TE SEATS". FML

#4949959
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (2277)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by soaked (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it an onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike an crash head-first. FML

#4949841
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (7008)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - animals - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today I checked my bank balance to make sure that the last installment of my funding had been paid in and realised that I'd been overpaid by £500. So being honest I told my boss about this. Turns out I wasn't overpaid by £500 I was overpaid by £1000 and need to give it all back. real FML

Yesterday, mah boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask himhy. He tells me thathen I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34993) - you deserved it (4918)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked in on ma boyfriend getting it on wit te neigbour's daugter!! As soon as e saw me, e started singing 'It Wasn't Me by Saggy, completely naked, still sitting wit te girl!! FML

#4933603
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56108) - you deserved it (4494)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

today my friend an I were making sandwiches at his house . His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor . The dog snatched it up an ran away with it . I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke an die . It did . FML

#4932229
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (49377)

On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: