Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16834) - you deserved it (30837)
On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45291) - you deserved it (7670)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:25am - work - by yawho (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (2801)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45713) - you deserved it (4902)
On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I sent out a note to 300 friends saying that I'm having a birthday party in a couple weeks. I asked to please write back if they are interested in going . . . two people answered...They said they can't make it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39834) - you deserved it (3363)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by mylifeisfcked (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102760) - you deserved it (17445)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71448) - you deserved it (16796)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (47822)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by :D (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (5217)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (3384)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:00pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (38922)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (36439)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by lifesucks (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64255) - you deserved it (4792)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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