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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

#3583602
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7552) - you deserved it (90399)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by AmberKCole (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

#3582524
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15064) - you deserved it (34651)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:52pm - work - by pharmn00b (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

#3582507
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47611) - you deserved it (10885)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

#3579421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (3097)

On 07/08/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

#3578218
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7329) - you deserved it (57913)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Nancy (woman) -

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (42144)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

#3575019
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50744) - you deserved it (8365)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by stupiddddddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML

#3574946
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (9409)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

#3574119
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68320) - you deserved it (3949)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43096) - you deserved it (3316)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

#3570179
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83111) - you deserved it (7574)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Applelover012 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123668) - you deserved it (4543)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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