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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

#3560349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (2574)

On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

#3555384
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6976) - you deserved it (61971)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (55546)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (57419)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

#3542974
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53477) - you deserved it (12760)

On 07/07/2009 at 12:48am - money - by housepoor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (18666)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

#3533001
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65194) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6133) - you deserved it (74643)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

#3529242
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35052) - you deserved it (9794)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:08pm - work - by DoesNotLikeCubes (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (13795)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

#3528123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51665) - you deserved it (6465)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49620) - you deserved it (30028)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML



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