Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (10247)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

#6493003
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7235) - you deserved it (54711)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by MegGRRRz (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (6026)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I used the same credit card to apply to college and pay for a rave ticket. My card went through on the rave ticket but denied the college application fee. I guess my credit card is trying to tell me something about my future. FML

#6490055
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (10006)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (9180)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

#6488326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (6466)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

#6482336
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (9738)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

#6477296
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (5869)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8518) - you deserved it (58407)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (7255)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

#6474495
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (5276)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:09am - love - by Duped (woman) - United States (California)



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