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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48233) - you deserved it (2348)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42680) - you deserved it (17840)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

#3890041
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (215954) - you deserved it (13086)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

#3886225
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (6196)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

#3884165
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13763) - you deserved it (51034)

On 07/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by nudie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

#3880719
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (4370)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

#3879305
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48294) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/19/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

#3878606
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (26348)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

#3878343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50772) - you deserved it (6759)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

#3877056
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (63183)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:11am - money - by Unluckyducky (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

#3874570
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (56592)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

#3872340
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45333) - you deserved it (4894)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Pusillanimous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

#3868753
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (3451)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:12pm - animals - by omgjessp (woman) - United States (California)



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