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Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51060) - you deserved it (21077)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

#4136342
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75132) - you deserved it (3556)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML

#4131254
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (14881)

On 07/29/2009 at 10:24am - money - by faentalivetmitt (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (47052)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40488) - you deserved it (6188)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

#4122960
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36170) - you deserved it (11378)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Bareassed (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML

#4122629
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (18347)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:03am - money - by BigFoot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after four years of anorexia and lots of recovery, my parents took me out to dinner with my counselor and whole family to celebrate my progress. I ended up eating something that made me vomit everything I ate. My parents now think I am bulmic and are sending me back to counseling. FML

#4116964
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46953) - you deserved it (4642)

On 07/28/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by nothungry (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49807) - you deserved it (7802)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

#4113749
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57579) - you deserved it (2401)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

#4108973
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (13298)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52403) - you deserved it (2879)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (16521)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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