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Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

#3689425
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (4283)

On 07/12/2009 at 9:29am - love - by vividrabbit (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (14775)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48032) - you deserved it (4689)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

#3679896
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53867) - you deserved it (2682)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:18pm - love - by Hopeless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (20653)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (2645)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (2036)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

#3673670
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48083) - you deserved it (2181)

On 07/11/2009 at 7:11pm - love - by ollie_ollivia (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53326) - you deserved it (8203)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55801) - you deserved it (4457)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (9522)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

#3669068
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45426) - you deserved it (3814)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by laurraaa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

#3668962
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39457) - you deserved it (27451)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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