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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (5419)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

#6655423
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (27751)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by skating101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

#6655081
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9740) - you deserved it (38063)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took a hot plate out of the oven with my fancy silicone oven mitt. Seconds after carefully placing it on the cook top, I picked it up with my left, unprotected hand. FML

#6652180
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7963) - you deserved it (34246)

On 12/07/2009 at 6:08pm - health - by Van (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3509)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

#6650801
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (4888)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by sexyyy (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

#6650793
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (4535)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by Dejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43921) - you deserved it (4785)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML

#6649711
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (4272)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by ditzen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (8708)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

#6648301
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28249) - you deserved it (3777)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by Fluory (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

#6647027
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (20341)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:33am - love - by Jane (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (2773)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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