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Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45994) - you deserved it (4920)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16046) - you deserved it (39872)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML

#3971332
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33133) - you deserved it (22808)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

#3968055
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (17876)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by partycats (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69357) - you deserved it (4236)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49414) - you deserved it (5422)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

#3959281
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39692) - you deserved it (4044)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:03pm - misc - by uncleaning (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML

#3958624
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62271) - you deserved it (2358)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:36pm - health - by retainer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

#3958127
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (47090)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

#3957207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16404) - you deserved it (75190)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings and heels. When I walked out the door my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriends house I told him what my dad had said and he replied "I'd have to agree with him." FML

#3953472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13318) - you deserved it (56904)

On 07/22/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

#3951718
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98832) - you deserved it (15443)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML

#3951293
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17630) - you deserved it (56377)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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