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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (6187)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

#5280220
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (2112)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:24pm - kids - by Kellye (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

#5276635
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50976) - you deserved it (4267)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:44pm - love - by Soontobeex (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got rejected for approximately the tenth credit card I've applied for, I called a bank to find out why. Apparently I took out a car loan in 2004 and bought a house in 2006. I was 13 in 2004. The credit report does not have any records of this. Thank you identity theft. FML

#5274091
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46664) - you deserved it (2184)

On 09/15/2009 at 3:24pm - money - by Lost (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

#5273221
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54419) - you deserved it (3510)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomitting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML

#5270344
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32303) - you deserved it (7639)

On 09/15/2009 at 9:21am - animals - by Meow (woman) - Singapore

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, 'liking' the break up. FML

#5269960
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36380) - you deserved it (6819)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:10am - love - by ohIlike (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50843) - you deserved it (8064)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML

#5269202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (8957)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by Unloved. (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

#5269126
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (2101)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML

#5268497
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7792) - you deserved it (30464)

On 09/15/2009 at 4:13am - intimacy - by mybad7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (7348)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

#5265552
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (4472)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:17am - work - by conley19 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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