Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (9399)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (5562)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (4951)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (3968)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

#6006516
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (8924)

On 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by hanzastfu (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2453)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

#6005741
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (2514)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Shobz (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (2474)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (4461)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

#6001127
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (45927)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend asked me if she could see someone else on the side. FML

#6001023
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (6378)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24am - love - by cheezeits (woman) - United States (California)



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