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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

#4603530
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52557) - you deserved it (5474)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8159) - you deserved it (48573)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

#4594193
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (4967)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48346) - you deserved it (2794)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML

#4590136
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52907) - you deserved it (4921)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a raise. A 10 cent raise. I have worked at my job for over 3 years. I now make 20 cents more an hour than people that have only worked there 3 minutes. FML

#4586443
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38937) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/16/2009 at 11:19pm - work - by fmjob (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

#4585306
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40657) - you deserved it (5230)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

#4577302
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (57447)

On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

#4574757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12118) - you deserved it (50330)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by lolreturn (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML

#4570949
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (9207)

On 08/16/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by annabellebyebye (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

#4570526
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (4602)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by 27musiclover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45800) - you deserved it (7475)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60279) - you deserved it (4501)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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