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Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (8077)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

#4450231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (5376)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

#4448908
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46934) - you deserved it (18788)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Teamarie (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother sat me down to tell me that since coming home from college, I sounded like "a liberated woman". She was disappointed and disturbed by this and said that I should stop having strong opinions and ideals because it would make finding a husband for me difficult. FML

#4448635
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49802) - you deserved it (6703)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:57am - misc - by liberatedwoman (woman) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (16938)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

#4445744
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12977) - you deserved it (40259)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom said that we needed to have a family meeting because of all the issues that have been going on with our family. My mom, sister and I sat down and began to talk about everything. As I started to cry my sister looks at my mom and says "I win!". She bet my mom $20 that I would cry. FML

#4445611
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39332) - you deserved it (7209)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:43am - misc - by amie (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

#4442846
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14144) - you deserved it (41509)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

#4441693
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (37003)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:01am - love - by thanksjerk (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9270) - you deserved it (95004)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out for dinner with my parents where they asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend so I answered no. They quickly responded by saying, "Oh so you finally got rid of that douchebag? It's not like he was getting anywhere in life anyways." I answered no because he's my fiancé now. FML

#4434889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44185) - you deserved it (8563)

On 08/10/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by NewFiancee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

#4430564
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (14468)

On 08/10/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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