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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

#6679301
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (2321)

On 12/09/2009 at 11:31am - love - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (3335)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (4875)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

#6676757
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (4569)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#6676625
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12485) - you deserved it (17922)

On 12/09/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Violated (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML

#6674609
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33523) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:25am - health - by somechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (28648)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML

#6671880
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by HoHoSnow (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

#6668848
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (3684)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

#6666980
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (4426)

On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

#6663134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29893) - you deserved it (3807)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:19am - health - by redcherries90 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

#6663069
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (41242)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML

#6660369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (3554)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:02am - kids - by ClothMom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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