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Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (48457)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50606) - you deserved it (6975)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML

#4472347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46730) - you deserved it (4819)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by CosmicJoke (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML

#4471647
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (2733)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:57am - misc - by dkajxu (woman) - Singapore

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55115) - you deserved it (20404)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

#4468177
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (41313)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (11444)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63141) - you deserved it (9238)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59861) - you deserved it (4032)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53312) - you deserved it (2819)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62394) - you deserved it (2583)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (8077)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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