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Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

#5735041
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6960) - you deserved it (80452)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:41am - love - by oliviakelly25 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

#5733211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/09/2009 at 12:22am - love - by rhythmbandit (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

#5732047
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (6082)

On 10/08/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by StellaSanguina (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36387) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75413) - you deserved it (5519)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

#5721043
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (30533)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of commitment, to be with a man that loves me, that is great in bed, and wants to be with me forever. So what's the problem? Now that we are committed, he won't get it on with me anymore. FML

#5720583
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (18865)

On 10/08/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by OnlyMe (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

#5719092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38549) - you deserved it (3451)

On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML

#5718785
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (11843)

On 10/08/2009 at 6:24am - money - by clecker (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

#5716495
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13766) - you deserved it (38560)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33736) - you deserved it (7988)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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