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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

#6714593
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (2617)

On 12/11/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by Childhood (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11601) - you deserved it (29559)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (38375)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

#6710646
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (8093)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

#6710041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (3096)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by surprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (4085)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (4357)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (8216)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

#6701307
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (4439)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

#6698211
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (38398)

On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (12830)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML

#6694973
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (6399)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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