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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124449) - you deserved it (6498)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

#4531515
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (14286)

On 08/14/2009 at 6:28pm - money - by scfead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (4930)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (5782)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59821) - you deserved it (7154)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

#4523037
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51891) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

#4517705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15650) - you deserved it (42293)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:29am - misc - by neverbeensurprised (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

#4516165
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58047) - you deserved it (8462)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - love - by ish (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43660) - you deserved it (6797)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

#4507995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (3493)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (78819)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (11917)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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