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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (39878)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (6270)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45218) - you deserved it (3905)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

#6722034
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (4080)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

#6721090
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36669) - you deserved it (3902)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:41am - animals - by Kelsie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

#6719670
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (3409)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

#6719258
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (4112)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML

#6717933
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12206) - you deserved it (54239)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

#6714593
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (2618)

On 12/11/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by Childhood (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11604) - you deserved it (29560)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16349) - you deserved it (38377)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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