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Today, I got pulled over 4 going a few miles per our over te speed limit. Te cop asked 4 ma license and registration. I appened to look down at ma wallet wile e was processing everyting and saw ma license in ma wallet. I gave te cop ma fake I.D. FML

#5325524
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (60436)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of tis really nice guy . I sure ope e tinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards an knocking over an old man is cute . FML

#5325412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (30254)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally told mah fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someoneho isn't "pure". FML

#5321781
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88457) - you deserved it (4404)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm - intimacy - by Jackie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

#5319261
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during gym class, mah teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stres by throwing a basketball at the wall !! I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach !! I began to vomit uncontrollably !! Even mah teacher laughed !! FML

#5315969
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (9433)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms an a vibrating ring I turn around to see mah ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly an puttd mah head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad an send mah 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

#5313361
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (6131)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:45pm - intimacy - by RahiYeah09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today... my professor informed me tat if I didn't "sow more commitment" to my coral ensemble e would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures r a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (2455)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today... I got my wisdom taath pullad. Apparantly tha madicinas don't work on ma. I woka up in tha middla of tha surgary an falt EVERYTHING. Ona of tha nursas askad if I was okay... an tha doctor just kapt saying "Don't worry sha's just draaming"...hila taars wara pouring down my faca. FML

#5310529
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53077) - you deserved it (2278)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I got my pariod. 10 minutas into a 3 our axam. Apparantly tay r sariousan tay say you may not laava ta room undar any circumstancas. FML

#5310287
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54658) - you deserved it (3620)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was running late for work . As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over mah own feet, fall off the front porch, an key mah new car . real FML

#5309799
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (6785)

On 09/17/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by Masey (woman) - United States

Today , While Mah 18 Pound Cat Was On The Edge Of The Tub Watching Me Shower , He Fell In. Apparently , In His Mind , The Best Way To Get Away From The Water Is To Climb Mah Bare Legs. Big Fat FML

#5309317
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out I'm on wage garnishment because my mother, who took out a student loan 4 me back in '05, didn't pay off the $2015 owed when she said she would . I got screwed over financially because of her . FML

#5308756
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (8786)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:32am - money - by MochiMomoChan (woman) - United States (California)

2day tha boy I hava crush on at school announcad that his family wara moving to Australia . My friand thought that it would ba funny to spraad a rumour that I was moving too, in ordar to follow him . Evaryona has haard it, and unforchinitly avaryona baliavas it, including him . FML

#5308714
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (5093)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:23am - love - by FirmlyInEngland (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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