Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11675) - you deserved it (55217)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62901) - you deserved it (19434)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (72663)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50517) - you deserved it (2016)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. I have two older sisters graduated. The first one got a Tiffanys bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59649) - you deserved it (2343)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (14627)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML
I agree, your life sucks (13825) - you deserved it (53668)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (86699) - you deserved it (4657)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (47000)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (2800)
On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I called off work saying my Great Grandmother died. A co-worker texted me later asking where and when the funeral was. I made up a lie and said some random funeral home and date. My co-workers sent flowers to the funeral home for condolences. The flowers were returned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4790) - you deserved it (74652)
On 03/09/2009 at 11:32pm - work - by Whatever01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39055) - you deserved it (10434)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - kids - by xoVioLoveox (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (8763)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
