Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML

by meh / 01/04/2010 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Health

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

by payne / 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

by kady / 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

by Zit-Blues / 01/04/2010 at 8:50am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2010 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

by screwed / 01/04/2010 at 12:29am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

by fml / 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

by december2009 / 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

by jumpy / 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

by brokeandsad / 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

by PWI_addict / 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous