Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68731) - you deserved it (5052)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

#4253042
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (35799)

On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was baby sitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog that had passed away four years ago. FML

#4252043
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36603) - you deserved it (5027)

On 08/03/2009 at 9:26am - animals - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41354) - you deserved it (2825)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

#4248848
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (4570)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:37am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68049) - you deserved it (3964)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a wedding with my family. While the maid of honor was giving her non-heartfelt, three sentence speech, my mom and I started talking about how lame her speech was. When I turned around to look at my mom, I saw the camera recording the speech behind her. FML

#4247203
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8848) - you deserved it (40497)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

#4244213
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46478) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

#4241415
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (5084)

On 08/02/2009 at 10:40pm - money - by arghhh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51738) - you deserved it (2233)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (118727)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

#4231634
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (6317)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by waiterrrrrrrrr (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

#4231503
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64311) - you deserved it (5488)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: