Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (12719)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

#4055468
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (5672)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

#4055189
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63382) - you deserved it (6059)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

#4054233
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (17876)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

#4053861
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42257) - you deserved it (6418)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you deserved it (79957)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41622) - you deserved it (15994)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (69193)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was romantically cuddling with my boyfriend. He looked deep into my eyes, stared lovingly at me, and said, "I never noticed, but you have the most adorable freckles on your face..." Blushing, I tilted my head to the side. He then said, "Oh, never mind, those are just your blackheads." FML

#4044013
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45616) - you deserved it (6456)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:29am - love - by acnegirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58923) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting ready for a date. I spent extra time getting ready in the shower, making sure I was all shaved. I was shaving my upper lip to make sure I didn't have a mustache. I cut my lip really badly, leaving the most noticable razor cut on my face for my date. I'm a girl. FML

#4035403
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (25525)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:22pm - love - by dajfleasd (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: