Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (3497)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (4672)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

#6809461
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (4471)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:19am - work - by B (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

#6809033
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (9331)

On 12/18/2009 at 10:20am - intimacy - by eatmyshipoopie (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

#6808095
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (2264)

On 12/18/2009 at 8:02am - love - by paula123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

#6806655
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8777) - you deserved it (23214)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Jssceli09 (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (9372)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML

Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML

#6795980
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/17/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by chill (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14560) - you deserved it (26640)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (5399)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: