Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

by charliesangel123 / 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

by sasquatch21 / 02/21/2010 at 8:36am / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 7:56am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 6:58am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

by emih / 02/21/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

by horny21 / 02/21/2010 at 3:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

by Piano999 / 02/21/2010 at 2:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

by Braced / 02/21/2010 at 12:14am / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

by gullible / 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

by AwwChute / 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

by makeuuuuup / 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

by lost_ina_dream / 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy