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Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

#6864986
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (13374)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by notpregnant (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

#6863631
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31233) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/21/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Agata (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he cried to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punched himself in the face. Then he dropped me off to spend time with his mom. FML

Today, I got my first tip. It was a Mentos. FML

#6861005
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26044) - you deserved it (5494)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

#6860527
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11194) - you deserved it (18435)

On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

#6859062
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5198) - you deserved it (54170)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

#6856764
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (4462)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (28066)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

#6850424
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (7465)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Suicidal (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

#6848390
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (5654)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (3542)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)



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