Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (47110)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77877) - you deserved it (31447)
On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (58593)
On 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Bucko321 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, two really hot guys pulled up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me and pointing down, I figured they were being pigs so I flipped them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me of the flat tire I had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5704) - you deserved it (68565)
On 03/29/2009 at 9:14pm - misc - by flattire (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57347) - you deserved it (21432)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10145) - you deserved it (156353)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68772) - you deserved it (4797)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59797) - you deserved it (8203)
On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53371) - you deserved it (5578)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend and when his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and i thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away I hear her say "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (66207) - you deserved it (2995)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:40am - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50338) - you deserved it (5871)
On 03/29/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by oldskoolgrl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45558) - you deserved it (7622)
On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (21994)
On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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