Today, I found out that my colleagues don't add me on Facebook so that they can publicly put me down in their statuses, without me knowing. My boss liked the one which said that I talk too much. FML

by Cleo / 06/23/2010 at 10:27am / Brunei Darussalam / Work

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

by GrannyAt22 / 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML

by keisha89 / 06/21/2010 at 8:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

by PissyPants / 06/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

by LoveYouTooMa / 06/20/2010 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

by Grace / 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

by kebaby / 06/19/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2010 at 11:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

by Blank / 06/16/2010 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

by Joy / 06/16/2010 at 10:42am / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Health