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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today... I left home to start mah new life at University. Saying goodbye to mah mother... the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

#5562367
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48390) - you deserved it (10032)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over an stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... an says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (4471)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I searchd for free parking near mah work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scord a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekkd through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawld back to mah car, and had a $30 ticket on mah windshield. FML

#5560693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10167) - you deserved it (35072)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

I Went To A Scool Committee Meeting. I Sat Opposite Ma Boyfriend. To Get Is Attention I Began Stroking Is Crotc Area Wit Ma Leg. Te Principal Stood Up 5 Minute Later Pulling Me Under Te Table. My Tigt Were Caugt In Is Zipper. FML

#5548744
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7971) - you deserved it (32807)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)

Today, I thought that I had finally sold the car I've been trying to sell fir two yeres. I had the money in my hand an had given over the title. As the "new" owner went to drive it away, the car wouldn't start. I had to give the money back. FML

2day I was on a tram and I noticd an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping mah bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closd. FML

#5543779
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (4990)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by arghh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, I DROVE MAH HUSBAND'S CAR TO THE MALL BECAUSE MAH CAR WAS IN THE SHOP!! THE BUMPER WAS BIENG REPAIRED BECAUSE I GOT REAR ENDED WHILE STOPPED AT A TRAFFIC LIGHT!! WHILE STOPPED AT THE SAME INTERSECTION I GOT REAR ENDED AGAIN!! FML

#5539236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (3505)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, was mah wedding day an I had been preparing mah speech 4 mah husband 4 about 3 months. At the wedding, I pourd mah heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it an right before the wedding, took his from his frst marriage an changd the name. FML

#5539052
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40079) - you deserved it (3743)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen mah debit card and maxd it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to looool change the addres on the card, so everything they bought online has been shippd to me. The bad news? I've receivd 16 snuggie so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43482) - you deserved it (3286)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

I want to mah cousin's farm with mah family. First I was poopad on by a goosa, paad on by a puppy, bit in tha faca by tha mothar dog, fall through tha floor of tha barn loft, and without knowing it was alactric, rastad mah hand on tha horsa fanca.

#5529858
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (8667)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding... I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out... he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than looool me. FML

#5527691
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (5869)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by chachi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told ma usband I wanted a divorce. He told me e didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41557) - you deserved it (16592)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

yesterday I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of mah apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39507) - you deserved it (3257)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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