Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43425) - you deserved it (4592)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (4000)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, Facebook told me I should reconnect with my husband. FML

#6967359
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (7520)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:30am - love - by reconnect (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6242) - you deserved it (43203)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (2739)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (11275)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

#6961000
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (13128)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by blahppl14 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (3484)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

#6958712
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

#6957410
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (7893)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9152) - you deserved it (90478)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

#6953630
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (9021)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by OhGodKillMeNow (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

#6952779
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:10am - misc - by mothapuka (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



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