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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (14525)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6187) - you deserved it (40088)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27566) - you deserved it (3340)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

#6255110
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (3871)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

#6254923
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (3652)

On 11/11/2009 at 6:28am - animals - by dEpPrEsSeDgIrL (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

#6253497
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (7275)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Saphira (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

#6252858
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (3798)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12043) - you deserved it (76977)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7145) - you deserved it (36871)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

#6246007
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (17295)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a call offering me a job with the census bureau. I applied for this job 6 months ago while I was still fighting tooth and nail to stay where I was. Since I didn't get the job, I was evicted from my apartment, got on public assistance, and moved from North Carolina to Florida with my mother. FML

#6245909
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (2338)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:04pm - work - by GillyPirate (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3272)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

#6243390
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (1750)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:16pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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