Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

by sweeeeet / 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

by disasterbutton / 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

by Chrissy / 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

by dreamteam / 02/08/2010 at 6:24am / United States / Love

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

by preggers / 02/08/2010 at 5:52am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2010 at 1:58am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

by Hm / 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

by GymnasticsQueen / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

by notababymama / 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

by Mackdaddy / 02/07/2010 at 9:21am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous