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Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (2737)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33943) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

#5599183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (2409)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (2777)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

#5588493
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (19979)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

#5582438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37966) - you deserved it (6283)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

#5582253
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (32647)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML

#5581956
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (15258)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by notmarriedyet (woman) - United States (Georgia) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML

#5580795
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (9598)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

#5580319
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8364) - you deserved it (35713)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



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