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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

#6178277
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40275) - you deserved it (7742)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

#6177758
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (2734)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (6850)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML

#6175631
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28309) - you deserved it (16699)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by supervisor (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

#6175316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35239) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (3922)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

#6165899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37681) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (6436)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

#6164199
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3017)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:25am - intimacy - by Cate (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

#6164155
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (5911)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:12am - love - by scumbag (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

#6163418
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35323) - you deserved it (4709)

On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (3634)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

#6157147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (7897)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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