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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML

#6069293
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25191) - you deserved it (6461)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (7045)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

#6068555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (11855)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

#6068182
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (2612)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (2293)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

#6067207
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:45am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

#6065412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (5963)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by effinit (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (7290)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (2572)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

#6057828
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6169) - you deserved it (65190)

On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML

#6054945
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32613) - you deserved it (6273)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by girlthatstoofat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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