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Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (4358)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30058) - you deserved it (3111)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, the last person I invited to my birthday party called and said they couldn't come because another party "came up" and they "hope I understand". It's on December 31st. This happens every year without fail. FML

#6995867
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (8721)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by ahh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

#6990979
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (3868)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:14am - work - by kawaiixalice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

#6990469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (6753)

On 12/28/2009 at 9:00am - love - by For (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

#6989281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (12384)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:35am - work - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24587) - you deserved it (3340)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (3009)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (11474)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (5609)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (6210)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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