Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

#6323908
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/16/2009 at 5:40am - work - by bakergirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

#6322699
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15044) - you deserved it (29723)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by bananaface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to close my legs and stop checking out her man. FML

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (3818)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

#6321079
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9180) - you deserved it (24813)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

#6318893
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47310) - you deserved it (2308)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36031) - you deserved it (3293)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10734) - you deserved it (35550)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (2423)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

#6313806
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:04pm - money - by notip (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you deserved it (40141)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9971) - you deserved it (34481)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (3725)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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