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Today, I finished a ballet class with a group of seven-and-unders. Afterwards, a new student's mother came up to me and thanked me, saying she was glad that her daughter had a "role model with a, ahem, fuller figure" and "not to worry about my weight." I have never thought I was fat before. FML

#4356276
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42181) - you deserved it (3354)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by Jessika (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

#4356271
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6067) - you deserved it (63548)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:18am - work - by cosmonaut (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84083) - you deserved it (6792)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

#4348564
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5052) - you deserved it (63138)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by fazzems (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML

#4346693
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47286) - you deserved it (8153)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML

#4342634
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (38663)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

#4342060
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61230) - you deserved it (7547)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

#4341464
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (7842)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by a-scared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (96423)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML

#4338265
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48839) - you deserved it (4024)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by tryingnottocare (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

#4337327
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML

#4332436
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41539) - you deserved it (6618)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

#4331157
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63477) - you deserved it (3920)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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