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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37517) - you deserved it (3818)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (39882)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it is New Year's Day. While all of my friends are out partying, I stayed home and mastered level 34 on FarmVille. FML

#7075240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12636) - you deserved it (35299)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by thatsjustlovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML

#7073820
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/01/2010 at 2:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

#7072214
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by nobffs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

#7072130
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (31565)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:07am - misc - by _akwardsituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

#7070397
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you deserved it (7348)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:12am - love - by ItSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (5557)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

#7060819
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (4871)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by Unloving (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML

#7059755
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (8217)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:52pm - money - by Busted (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (18997)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38402) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)



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