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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

#7072214
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25814) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by nobffs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

#7072130
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (31563)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:07am - misc - by _akwardsituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

#7070397
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (7348)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:12am - love - by ItSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (5555)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

#7060819
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34150) - you deserved it (4870)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by Unloving (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML

#7059755
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26470) - you deserved it (8217)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:52pm - money - by Busted (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (18973)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

#7053849
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24555) - you deserved it (4927)

On 12/31/2009 at 8:28am - animals - by brokenrainbow. (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

#7052251
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8230) - you deserved it (38237)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by ParanoidFreak (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9627) - you deserved it (62034)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

#7050852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (5384)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:01am - love - by 12345678 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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