Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28846) - you deserved it (5518)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his Mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his Mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML

#6339843
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33943) - you deserved it (3884)

On 11/17/2009 at 9:50am - kids - by NewlyChildaphobic (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

#6337825
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25090) - you deserved it (3863)

On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after sleeping in, I finally sorted through a stack of mail I had been putting off and I found a Jury summons. Thinking it must be coming up soon, I checked the date, my appearance is scheduled for 7:45am on November 16th. Today is November 17th. FML

#6337405
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (35637)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by Nic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML

#6336608
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (25670)

On 11/17/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by HunniBeeHuni (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39404) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (27480)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

#6326207
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (5242)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:12pm - love - by TLT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

#6325781
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9920) - you deserved it (38603)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the maintenance workers finally came to my apartment to fix the shower-head that kept falling off the wall. I was annoyed because they had replaced it a few weeks ago and since then, it'd been a problem. They went into my bathroom, turned the shower head around, and left. FML

#6324713
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (23326)

On 11/16/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by BadatDIY (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: